The visions fade beyond recognition,
The feelings are beyond my touch;
The voices are all inaudible,
Of the words that meant so much.

The wistful memories of those good old days,
That grows dimmer with each of life's turn,
The memories that hold a strong bond,
To a past, to which I'll never return.

The visions and voices of a person,
I trusted to never leave me battered;
And it was that implicit faith of mine,
That was ruefully shattered.

drowning..

Until yesterday, I was riding on the crest of waves,
The coral studded tiara, crowned my head;
But now the sea rants and raves,
And the crown's buried deep in the seabed.

For now Iam drowning, Iam drowning.

Till yesterday the winds barely brushed my face,
And lifted me up to a new zenith;
But now they've blown against me,
Taking away from me my protective sheath.

For now Iam drowning, Iam drowning.

And I find myself in the thick, dark sea,
The spirits of the dark blurring my sight;
With the faces of the dark out to lunge at me,
I seem to be losing the will to fight.

For now Iam drowning, Iam drowning.

For now Iam drowning, Iam drowning,
Being submerged into the sea, all shattered and torn;
For now Iam drowning, Iam drowning,
By forces unseen, unknown.

inside..

The cold eyes mesmerize me again,
And draws me to it like never before,
Callous forces compell me to restrain
But I go, for its time I get to the core.

And I find myself soaring in a strange world
Misty visions surround me,
Dead voices, buried tears are hurled at me,
And a broken wing falls at my feet.

I stare at the broken wing
And ponder who drew that fatal arrow,
My question stills the dead voices
But the drops continue to flow.

Caged visions are dancing around me
The music has an eerie feel
The beats are getting faster, the cries louder
And me head begins to reel

All strength and will evades me
I turn back to run, but fear comes in my way
Chains from the cages suddenly bind me
But I scream, "I cannot stay"

I force myself out, tearing the chains,
crawling to the last ray of light,
And outside I find myself looking at the mirror
And a cold eyed stranger meets my sight.

unfinished...

I read a book about a young mind that went out into the wild, not in the pursuit of some great travel but instead to reach out within himself.. to unravel the real, pure him.. a spiritual journey that took him to the extreme.. and left him there.

To many it may seem frivolous to wander out like that, leave everything behind, just in the search of oneself..but to me .. that is probably one of the bravest thing to do..and one of the simplest. Yet we steer away from it.. every moment of the day when we are faced with a question of what we really want, we steer away ..towards what we should be. Or like many of us - trying to find that balance between what we should be and what we want to..

Today I wonder if there is a balance at all .. if there really is that fine line that we can tread… step on to the side we are accustomed to whenever we want to … whenever we seek that companionship that our nature has made us unbearable to live without.. that fear of loneliness that has driven us to cultivate and nurture around us circles and circles of association both biological and otherwise… and the other side.. that side that is us and only us.. the real core.. the real us.. the real us that we are (probably) scared to find because we don’t know if we’d ever be able to get back from there. Or we know and hence don’t want to go.

Many a person may have come to that point of choice.. the famed crossroads between what we really want and what we should and very few are the lucky ones to find them both on the same path.. as for me.. my crossroads lead to what I know I will find therein.. and the other.. what I feel I should go for.. just to seek.. just to search.. just to peep into that brink .. and see what is beyond.. to see what the real me is..

Will I make a choice.. I don’t know.. as of now, I am glad that at least both the roads are in the line of my vision..

..it’s just that sometimes when you close a book… the chapter isn’t over as yet.



mornings :)

You wake up in the morning.. with no agenda.. no plans for the day.. the whole day just to yourself.. no office to go to.. no trek to set out on.. no little annoying errands to wrap up.. the whole day spread out there for you to do anything u want to … makes you want to laze around.. makes you want to run with time to make the most of the free day that you have.. love this feeling first thing in the morning!!

Ya.. I am happy today :)