unfinished...

I read a book about a young mind that went out into the wild, not in the pursuit of some great travel but instead to reach out within himself.. to unravel the real, pure him.. a spiritual journey that took him to the extreme.. and left him there.

To many it may seem frivolous to wander out like that, leave everything behind, just in the search of oneself..but to me .. that is probably one of the bravest thing to do..and one of the simplest. Yet we steer away from it.. every moment of the day when we are faced with a question of what we really want, we steer away ..towards what we should be. Or like many of us - trying to find that balance between what we should be and what we want to..

Today I wonder if there is a balance at all .. if there really is that fine line that we can tread… step on to the side we are accustomed to whenever we want to … whenever we seek that companionship that our nature has made us unbearable to live without.. that fear of loneliness that has driven us to cultivate and nurture around us circles and circles of association both biological and otherwise… and the other side.. that side that is us and only us.. the real core.. the real us.. the real us that we are (probably) scared to find because we don’t know if we’d ever be able to get back from there. Or we know and hence don’t want to go.

Many a person may have come to that point of choice.. the famed crossroads between what we really want and what we should and very few are the lucky ones to find them both on the same path.. as for me.. my crossroads lead to what I know I will find therein.. and the other.. what I feel I should go for.. just to seek.. just to search.. just to peep into that brink .. and see what is beyond.. to see what the real me is..

Will I make a choice.. I don’t know.. as of now, I am glad that at least both the roads are in the line of my vision..

..it’s just that sometimes when you close a book… the chapter isn’t over as yet.